A second post in just a few days; things must be bad.
Have you ever woken up to hear someone you love sobbing? I don’t mean crying, sniffling, a little upset. I mean truly sobbing out of despair. How does that feel? Welcome to this morning’s reality.
I’m sure you’ve guessed that the person I’m talking about is my Mum. What makes it worse is that she’d been trying to call me for help as she’d been sick and got a searing headache. So there I am, jump out of bed and try to get dressed quickly, into Mum’s room where Dad is trying to give her water and pain killers. Shes managed to get herself out of bed to be sick but isn’t leaving the bed for the rest of the day. A quick call to the hospice nurse and she’s round within 30mins. We’ve managed to stabilise Mum’s pain in the head in the meantime but aren’t aware of the bigger picture. From what the nurse tells us, this is the side effects of the brain tumour we thought wasn’t too much of a problem. A shit load of steroids might help for a few days but its time the oncologists look at radiotherapy again and fast.
Sunday morning. We (I) should be hungover, trying to get a Full English down me. Cancer stops for no man or woman though does it. So, the short term is to nurse Mum today. Keep the washing up to scratch (get Nan to do the ironing) and somehow cook a roast dinner without the help of my selfish bastard brother (a whole other story that I won’t bore you with). I can’t cook. At least by concentrating on administering pills, food and sleep we (I) don’t have to think about the bigger picture. I feel that coming at me like one of those bloody dementors sucking all the happiness away in Harry Potter. Actually, perhaps that’s what cancer is. A dementor; sucking away all the happiness and the light in the world. I’m sure I’m not the first to think that either.
So for now, I’m off to try and cook roast beef. Something that will sure enough give us a laugh in whats another bloody awful day.
coley06 