I’ve lost my Mum.

In every sense of the word lost; I can’t find her. I drive her car, I walk around our house, sit on her bed, wear her jumper, and yet I still can’t find her. 

Photos fail to breach the distance. They fail to bring back the feeling of her touch. Her words. Her thoughts. 

I struggle to remember our ‘normal’. I question if I imagined it. I wonder how the sun keeps rising, the earth turning and we still live without her here. 

I didn’t know how without her would feel. I couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t believe it. 

Maybe we’re both just lost together.